5 Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.
6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, "Do you want to be made well?"
7 The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me."
8 Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your bed and walk."
9 And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.  And that day was the Sabbath.
John 5:5-9

I was reading this passage today for my daily reading.  In these short 5 verses are 3 lines of conversation, yet each of these 3 lines are so interesting and reveal so much of the grace of God.

Jesus' question to the man is one that is not only strange, but possibly offensive as well.  Can you imagine going up to anyone in the ICU and asking them, "Do you want to be made well?"  Why, who doesn't?  Who wants to remain in the bondage of their infirmity?  The surprising answer is sometimes, we do.  Sometimes we like the attention and pity that we get when we're sick.  Sometimes we use our sickness to excuse ourselves from our responsibilities.  Some people don't want to get well because they want to portray the image of being one who is able to endure suffering.

The sick man's reply is rather typical of what any of us would have said.  He didn't answer Jesus' question right on.  In his reply we don't get a sense of a straight yes/no.  what we do get is a statement of resignation to his fate.  from his answer we can see that he desires to be well.  however, that is not what he focused on.  all that was on his mind was the impossibility of his situation.  and how can we blame him?  having been sick for 38 years, never being quick enough to be in a position to receive healing, how can one hold on to any shred of hope?  we are often like the sick man, rationalizing the situation.  we look at the reasons why the impossible cannot happen.  i mean, that's why it's called the impossible right?

now look at the beauty of Jesus' words in response to his unbelief.  Not looking at the sick man's lack of faith, the love of God transcended the man's unbelief and healed him.  Jesus extended grace that was unearned, undeserved, unmerited, unasked-for.  That day the sick man received something that he did not even believe was possible.  Even in our unbelief, God is able to work.

Is there a lesson for us to learn from this passage?  Maybe, but that's not my point here.  Sit back and enjoy, revel in, the great love that God extends toward you :)

and on another note, it snowed today!  pretty heavy snow.  campus looked really pretty this morning, too bad i didn't bring my camera out.  2 more wks to singapore! :D

stumbled across this when i was searching for clues to help me finish my crossoword.  so funny!

today was the putnam competition.  it's the college math competition held all over the US, just abt the biggest/only math competition for college students.  2 papers, each 3 hours, one in the morning one in the afternoon.

so the putnam did not go well for me.  during the second half i was too tired to think, so i just left 1.5 hours into the paper.  what amazed me somewhat today was the ease with which i was able to just leave like that.  and also how i was not upset by how badly i did.

i guess i just don't treat these competitions seriously anymore.  it's not like jc, where IMO was my life, my identity.  math competitions are no longer my identity, they're just something i do on the side.  maybe i don't enjoy competing anymore, maybe i never did.  but anyway i'm glad that it's no longer what i see myself as.  in theory i should see myself as nothing else but a child of God, so i guess i'm somewhat glad that math is no longer as huge a part of me as it was before.

maybe i'm not so coherent today, because it's 1:19am and i'm a lil tired, but anyway i think u get my point.  have a good wk!

There is gold and a multitude of rubies,
But the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.

Proverbs 20:15

Oh Lord, let those lips be mine.

shouldn't have drunk that black coffee.

anyway this song popped into my head while i was playing the guitar, trying to put myself to sleep.  i really love this song, i wish i had the mp3, but i don't.  but nontheless it's one of my favourites, because it tells me that God is really not far off at all.  He's right there with me every step of the way.

Your Favourite Name is Father

Almighty God
Lord of all creation
Ancient of days
The Holy One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favourite name

Your favourite name is Father
You love to hear your children calling
You're there to catch us when we're falling
Your favourite name is Father

Eternal King
Alpha and Omega
Jehovah God
The mighty One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favourite name

Your favourite name is Father
You love to hear you children calling
You're there to catch us when we're falling
Your favourite name is Father

Abba Father
Holy is Your name
Abba Father
Holy is Your name

life is too complicated, is it not?  i wonder what it would be like if, for just a day, i could just not think about anything, and go about doing whatever i'm supposed to do.  maybe that's not possible... maybe thinking is all part of life, a part that's inseparable.  maybe life wouldn't have meaning if we couldn't think.  maybe

maybe it's time to sleep :)

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

- Ephesians 5:22-33

In its perfect form, the union between a man and a woman is THE picture of the union between Christ and the church.  that's so beautiful, isn't it?  It's sad that we don't see much of that nowadays... Married life has become so removed from the relationship it should be (according to this passage at least).

i got to witness this at the game.  they start marching at abt 2:20.

so i decided to upload them quick before i forget/get bogged down by other things in life.  all the photos can be viewed here.  they're in reverse chronological order, but whatever.  anyways for those who don't have time to browse through the photos i'll put some below:


welcome to aggieland!



the crowd at midnight yell



andrew and i conforming to the sea of maroon



food at the tailgate



the stadium is packed!



blake and me



UT's band

i just came back not too long ago from my short thanksgiving trip to texas.  it was nothing short of phenomenal.  photos will be up once i get settled down and clean up my room (which is quite a mess now) and get started with my algebra pset (which is due on tues), but they will be up.  eventually.

blake, the director of manna, andrew and i left for the philly airport on thursday morning and flew into houston at abt 4pm.  rented a car and drove for abt 2 hours to college station, where texas a&m is.  the part of texas that we drove through was really not too different from other parts of the US- greenery, some ranches, not the desert i had pictured in my mind (although some other parts of texas are like that).  we dropped off our stuff at the gustafson's house, where we would be lodging.  paul gustafson is a freshman in manna who lives in college station, and even though he wasn't going home for thanksgiving, his family was kind enough to extend their hospitality to us.  paul's mum always made sure that we were fed :)

paul's dad, bob, is actually a princeton alum, class of '75 i think.  what's even more amazing (coincidental, or should i say God-incidental) is that he majored in math in pton, and is now a math professor at A&M.  he shared a lot of stories abt math in pton and in general with me, giving me a better understanding of the department, and i guess how the Christian faith fits in the whole picture.  i really thank God for letting me someone who is both deep in academia, esp math, and is also a strong Christian.

dinner was spent with blake's parents at the dixie chicken, which is basically a bar i think.  it apparently sells the most amt of beer per sq ft in the whole world :)  right next to the dixie chick is an alleyway that is covered with thousands upon thousands of beer bottlecaps.  crazy stuff :)  after that we went to the stadium for this tradition called the midnight yell (even though it was held at 8pm this yr :P)  basically the night before the game with UT, students would gather in the stadium to rah-rah themselves.  6 guys, called yell leaders, basically led the cheers.  we went through some cheers, there were little peptalks/speeches, and there was a short poem recital that symbolized the sch's fighting spirit.  the fans in A&M are often called "the 12th man", in that they are just like an extra man on the pitch for the team.  there was one part during the ceremony where the lights in the stadium went out.  at this time guys were supposed to kiss their dates, while those that were single would use their lighters/cellphones to shine on those that were kissing :P

the next day we met lauren (blake's wife) and little andrew (their kid) at the tailgate before the UT Texas A&M football game.  for the uninitiated, tailgating is when before the game, families just get together, set up tents and chairs and chill out.  lots of food, kids throwing footballs around.... a great family atmosphere.  pton has a little bit of tailgating too, but nothing on the scale that we saw in aggieland (that's what college station is sometimes called, pple in texas a&m are called aggies).  we hung out with some friends of lauren from college.  great food, great company.  andrew and i each got a maroon shirt to blend into the crowd (maroon is a&m's colour).  before the game there was a parade where the band marched in along with the corp, that kinda reminded me of army :P

the game itself was AMAZING.  there were over 88,000 pple in the stadium, mostly dressed in maroon.  our seats were pretty good, i had a quite a good view of the whole game.  although A&M was supposed to be the weaker team, we played really well and won the game :)  that makes it 2 out of 2 for me- for the 2 games i attended, both times the team i rooted for won :D  what really struck me was the sch spirit.  the cheering, the students standing up throughout the game... and i think more than that, the fact that so many alumni came back to watch the game.  i wish pton had that.... i guess AC had that to a certain extent, but not really either.  different.  but really the aggie sch spirit is a sight to behold.

for the rest of the trip blake was showing andrew and i around the campus and the places where he had hung out while he was still a student (he was class of 2000).  college housing is really quite different there- only freshmen live in dorms, the rest pretty much live off campus.  campus life must really be quite different.

all in all this trip was a good break from life in princeton.  i haven't done touched work since tuesday evening... being in texas showed me the other side of college life, "the other education", as they call it.  one thing that will always stick in my mind is the hospitality of the pple there.  the gustafson's, blake's parents, lauren's siblings and friends.... everyone treated us like family, i felt so at home.  many times i would feel just like one of them, even though just about everyone else was white while andrew and i were asian.  i hope that in the future i'll be just as hospitable.

so that kinda sums up my short trip to the south.  i'd definitely love to make another trip down there sometime :)  for now it's back to work/sch/my life.  haha.  3 more wks till HOME! :D